To be or not to be?

This is the opening text of this blog, so I will start from the beginning.

On May 18, 2018, I suffered a severe stroke that nearly took my life. The prognosis was that I wouldn't be able to walk, speak, or eat by mouth again. Among other consequences. It took me a few days to regain consciousness. My wife, Ana Paula, was two months pregnant. I stayed in the ICU for 35 days. She would work during the day and then come to the hospital to sleep with me at night.

The first reflection I was able to make when I regained consciousness was:

Who am I?

I didn't have any cognitive impairments. I knew very well who I was and remembered everything, up until the moment I passed out on that Friday at 5 a.m. The question "Who am I?" arose because, at that moment:

I wasn't the designer because I couldn't work.
I wasn't Ana Paula's husband because I couldn't leave the bed.
I wasn't Luna's father because I couldn't attend the ultrasound.

At that moment, I was nothing that depended on an action.

I wasn't the son, the friend, the coworker.

Who am I when I can't do anything?

I discovered that I am something before being anything else.

Before being the name on my identification document,
before being the designer,
before being the husband,
before being the father,
before being the son,
before being the friend,

I simply am.

I exist independently of any title, label, or function.

I discovered that my value lies in simply existing.

And everything that exists has value.

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